English Aquarius workshop
Aquarius workshop
Understanding the duality between sadism and masochism
“Both sadism and masochism, which are only two sides of the same coin, as you know, are conditioned and brought forth not by one, but by many facets in the human soul.”
Quote of Pathwork Lecture 103: Harm of too much love giving
It is God’s will that we love ourselves, others and life, that we respect, honour and treat ourselves courteously. The emotionally mature person has the ability to enjoy and love in a social and non-egoistic way. He therefore experiences a minimum of pain and a maximum of pleasure. As humanity we are destined to enjoy to the fullest. Life is pleasure and love. If the life force is suppressed under the influence of images and misconceptions and changes into anti-life force, then contraction occurs and pleasure is negative. Negative pleasure we experience on a conscious level as painful, for example in self-pity, egoism, greed, pride, self-will, revenge, vanity, masochism, sadism etc. At this stage of our human evolution our ability to enjoy is still childishly antisocial and egoistic. Pleasure often expresses itself negatively, so that the person involved unconsciously feels guilty and sinful and there is fear of love.
The mass image that love is dangerous causes us to provoke rejection on an unconscious level and not to understand on a conscious level why we are rejected. We are afraid of pain and rejection. As a result of these fears, we lack the inner willingness to open our hearts to others. We compensate and mask this closed, rejecting attitude with exaggerated friendliness. That does not work, because the unconscious of the other reacts more strongly to our unconscious rejection than to the conscious, false, friendly attitude. This mass attitude destroys the possibility of happiness and creates pain, sorrow, adversity and precisely the rejection that we fear so much: a vicious circle of negative pleasure by resentfully hurting others and being hurt, of sadism and masochism. Resentment directed at ourselves is masochism and in sadism this resentment is directed at the other. In this workshop we will explore with a loving curiosity three themes of the Pathwork Lectures regarding the duality between sadism and masochism.
1st theme: What is sadism?
It is important to make the connection between the feeling of being unacceptable and having sadistic impulses. Sadistic impulses express themselves by punishing and hurting others. This person is not afraid to express his negative feelings and believes that he protects himself in this way. But of course that is a pseudo-protection, because to the extent that we are cruel to others, we are also cruel to ourselves.
“Sadism is the consequence of detesting one’s submissiveness and resenting it. This resentment is, of course, projected onto the other person involved, although often indirectly and subconsciously. Resentment directed to the self is masochism. It is the very same resentment: in sadism it reaches out to the other self, whereas in masochism it turns back to one’s own self.” (Quote of Pathwork Lecture 54)
2nd theme: What is masochism?
Masochism comes from compulsive submission in order to gain love or approval. It is the tendency toward self-rejection and lack of healthy self-love. Masochistic self-destruction is also the inability to deal with problems by avoiding them. All images are masochistic because they contain a negative idea with painful self-destructive results. Unlike a sadistic person, a person with masochistic traits is afraid to express his negative, hostile feelings and holds them back. He punishes others indirectly through his own misery and punishment.
“If the sense of one’s unworthiness is stronger than the corresponding healthy forces, the only pleasure derived from living is found in pain. I still do not mean physical masochism; the same may hold true on a psychic level and may never manifest physically at all. When it does manifest physically, it is in a very advanced state. Since this seems the only certain thing that one can rely on – pain through rejection — one hugs it, one does not want to give it up. Healthy pleasure seems hopelessly unattainable. In other words, masochism is a giving up. It is a resignation to the worst, which one tries to make the best of.” (Quote from Pathwork Lecture 99)
3rd theme: Love merges duality
True love is always spontaneous, does not ask for anything in return, and knows when to let go. Recognizing and understanding masochistic and sadistic currents allows the natural feelings of love that lie buried beneath those negative emotions to blossom and we now and then experience true love every. When we ask ourselves in every situation, “What would love do?” we awaken the desire for pure love.
“The real love is free from all masochistic or sadistic tendencies; it is healthy and without egocentricity or other unhealthy, personality choking currents. You will notice that there are always two extremely opposite, unhealthy currents.” (Quote from Pathwork Lecture 4)
The workshop lasts 1,5 hours. We will start with an introduction meditation. This will be followed by the opportunity to discuss your experiences on this subject and to ask questions.
The last part of the workshop consists of a guided meditation and the sharing of received inspirations.
The free workshop will be held on Saturday at PST 8.00-9.30, EST 11.00-12.30, GMT 16.00-17.30, CET 17.00-18.30.
After you have registered for the free workshop (s.hontele@hetnet.nl), you will receive a zoom link.